What are we really scared of?

                                                                  Brenda Turner
Brenda Turner 
I am a Counsellor and a Bullying Resolution Expert. I help victims by showing them how to overcome their fears to stop the bullies easily. 
I grew up in a domestically violent family, “sibling rivalry” was rife and it didn’t get much better at school either. This was followed by workplace bullying, then into a domestically violent marriage. I lost a dear friend who committed suicide because of a bully. I had an accident that caused a painful physical disability and became even more of a target for the bullies. One day, I finally said “enough”.  
I was totally dismayed with all the bullying that was going on around me, I was desperate for a way out of this horrible existence. I took some time out to study bullies, to work out why me and why they do it. I sought the answers so that I could become bully free.  This journey took me to all sorts of dark places, I went into the bullies mind, trying to understand why they do what they do. Then I read notes from Counselling sessions between a bully and a Psychologist that were accidentally left at my house by a bully. Wow, what an awakening I had. I realised just how easy it was for this bully to worm their way into my life and that my life had become a complete lie.

"I am sincerely grateful to you for writing this wonderful book." 

  Rainbow thumbs up power of a friend The No Bully Zone
Bullies are not after money, poor people are bullied. Bullies can be male or female, it’s not a gender or inequality issue. So what are they really after??? Bullies are only after the one thing, power and control. However, you may not be powerful, so why bully you? What is it that the bully is really after from you? Why is bullying so prevalent today compared to 30 years ago? When I went to school there was only 1 bully per school. 25 years ago the statistics rose to 1 in 10 people would most likely be bullied. In just a few years this sky rocketed to 1 in 3 people were being bullied. They can only count the number of victims because bullies will never admit guilt. 
Now that I understood bullying completely and had worked out a formula to stopping them, I decided to share it with the world. At the same time, I wrote to the specific Government Ministers to highlight where the failures were and where they can make changes to help people, but that fell on deaf ears. The responses were filled with yes, we do take the matter seriously, yes we have policies in place and yes we do reviews. To me, this was dismissive, considering the statistics were rapidly climbing and people were still dying, I became dismayed by the government response.  
What shocked me the most is these so called “blanket bans” and “zero tolerance” policies that schools have. They do not allow for any violence, clearly stating, when a victim was hit by a bully they were not allowed to defend themselves else be punished too. In every country around the world, a victim is allowed to defend themselves. So effectively, schools were teaching children it is not ok to stand up to bullies.  A mother called into a radio station one day to say that her child’s school policy was that a bully had to attack a victim 3 times before it could be reported. I’m not a punching bag for a bully, the law states I can defend myself. This shows us why bullying is allowed to flourish.  
I have found the right formula, the right attitude and know all of the bullies secrets, they really aren’t that “scary” after all, when you know the truth. With decades of experience, education and research along with my philosophies of life, I know the only way to control bullying is for us, the people to take charge of it.  

  No Bullying Symbol
  "There are no words to describe how your book has changed everything for me." 
Queen Hyslop

“Wow, reading this book, I can really relate to the author”

Smiley Face
3 years in the making, Bullying What are we really scared of? was announced as the Best Self Help Book by the prestigious Pacific Book Awards 2018, a Finalist in the Best Self Help Book by Book Excellence Awards in 2019 and selected for a Gold Winner Award for Education/Reference by the Elite Choice Book Awards 2020.  
I was inspired to write this book because I have found the right formula and seeing how many people were suffering and even dying because of bullies, I wanted to share my winning formula with everyone. No matter the label the bully is called (workplace bully, cyber bully, domestic and family violence perpetrator), they are all the same and use the same methods to abuse. The only difference between a bully at school and a domestic violence perpetrator is the level of experience they have mastered. They gain experience by honing their skills on us. Once they leave school they have mastered the art of manipulation and can easily snare victims. Stopping them early is key to stopping domestic violence, workplace bullying and even elder abuse. 

I life a free and happy life without bullies, you can do it too. You have the power, you have the ability, I have full confidence in you because if I can do it being a disabled person, then everyone can do it.  
Learn how today!
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