What are we really scared of?

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Bullying What are we really scared of book cover

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  Bullying What are we really scared of?

This multi Award winning book; Bullying What are we really scared of? is a comprehensive educational guide to bullying. From the school yard through to the workplace, cyber bullying, domestic and family violence, even elder abuse, this book covers all areas of bullying. 
Why you were chosen, why you responded the way you did, why no one would step in to help and how to stop it? Understanding bullying is crucial to defeating it, learning how the bullies think will tell you what tactics they use to help you can counter them to defeat the bully. With practice, you can stop the bullies before they start. 
Winner of the Best Self Help Book for 2018 by the Pacific Book Awards. Finalist for Self-Help Books for 2019 by the Book Excellence Awards. Gold Award for Education/Reference for 2020 by the Elite Choice Book Awards. Silver Award for expertly delivering a thought provoking theme that is easy reading, fluent and  powerful using appropriate language by Literary Titan 2020. Finalist for Education and Academic for its high quality writing for 2021 by the Book Excellence Awards.

This informative book challenges the current "system" response of victim blaming and punishment laying the foundation for a successful way of dealing with bullies. Highlighting the laws that protect victims but are not used "system wide" in the current approach to bullying, demonstrating to victims that whilst the "system" won't help them, there are plenty of tips in the book to take care of the problem themselves.  
Often supporters do not know what to say to victims, their words can sound accusatory, even a tone of voice is sometimes all it takes to send a victim into the deepest abyss.  

Bullying What are we really scared of? explains bullying as it truly is from the bully’s prospective because it is only when we truly understand it can we begin to fix it. From years of experience using my formula to stop bullies, being bully free for over 20 years, I offer the reader” 
• Realistic, affordable and easy solutions to the bullying problem. 
• Empowering victims to overcome their fears so they can stop the bullies easily. 
• Aiding victims to diffuse bullying situations. 
• Educating bystanders to understand their role in helping victims 
• Educating parents to understand the situation their child is in and how to help. 
• Educating school staff how to help the victims instead of punishing them. 
• Educating the Justice System to help victims of all forms of abuse. 
• Educating governments and education departments on better policy and
   decision making.
Pacific Book Awards Winner
  Book Excellence Award Finalist

Elite Choice Book Awards Winner
  Literary Titan Silver Book Award Winner
  Book Excellence Award Finalist
I challenge the “system” thoughts and beliefs. I am so tired of hearing that bullying must be “repetitive” before anyone will act. A person committing an act of assault only has to do it once for them to be charged, this goes for all manner of criminal activity. A bully is committing an act with intent to cause harm for a personal gain – this is bullying, but to the system, they must do it multiple times, re-victimising the victim over and over before the “authoritarian” will step in to do anything about it. By this time the victim feels very weak and believes that the “system” won’t be there to help them.  
A murderer or rapist does not have to commit the act 3 times before they are charged. Any form of abuse, including name calling is an “offence” against the victim and they have the right to remedy, NOT PUNISHMENT. 
By the time it has happened multiple times, when the victim reports it, it will only get “noted down”, the victim is told “the next time it happens report it and we will investigate.” This to the victim is dismissive and losses their trust in the system altogether. The next time the bully abuses the victim they use violence to defend themselves which sees them both punished.  
In criminal law, every person has the right of self defence, as long as they do not commit grievous bodily harm or murder. This gives all victims of abuse the right to use violence if it is required to stop the abuse happening to them. If a victim is punished in any way for standing up for themselves then this is an abuse of the system upon that victim and only demonstrates the lack of ability of the “system” to help the victim. So stop punishing victims for standing up for themselves. 
I love that the “system” thinks bullies will change by teaching them about “respectful relationships” and “emotional intelligence”. Bullies don’t want to change, they are getting rewarded for their bad behaviour. However, any hints you give them is taken on board and used because bullies are always looking for more discreet ways to abuse. Until a bully is more experience, they use more physical means of abuse, by teaching them about emotions, you are actually giving them all the psychological clues on how to hurt more victims. Dealing with bullies must only be about the bully, not everyone else, not other peoples’ emotions or thought processes. After decades of only making things worse, until the “system” comes up with a radical new plan of dealing with bullies, you had best learn how to defend yourself properly. 
Girl reading magical book
"The people who read your magic life-changing book will be hanging onto every word, like I have. Your book has empowered me beyond description - it's changed EVERYTHING. 
All aspects of my life are different now - it's been all-encompassing. My relationship with my children is different. My relationship with the world is different. The relationship I have with myself is different. I owe it all to you. You've transformed my entire life Brenda and I will always be eternally grateful to you. 
I decided that every time I had to see my ex I would take your book with me as my safety net, my security blanket, my lucky charm...... but your book has made me so strong that I don't need to. 
I'm Free. It's such fun.”
Jenny Miller
Bullies are really not that scary when we understand them, they are easy to control when you know how. Everyone has the ability and the power to stop bullies, it’s the “know how” that is lacking. I am here to tell you how easy it is to be BULLY FREE FOREVER! 
Control them before they control you!
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